he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
