he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
