i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
