im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
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