If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
