i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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