Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
