I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Mom said you looked used
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize