i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
