Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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