i permit you to call me
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize