Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
