Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
