I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
