what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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