I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
