apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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