belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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