Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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