I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
