ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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