We won't sleep together?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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