I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
