you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
