do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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