For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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