Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
