I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
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