we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I enjoy the company of your penis
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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