youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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