i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
