Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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