maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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