i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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