Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
