can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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