My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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