grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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