another moral hangover. fuck.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
