Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
