your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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