Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
this is an emotional support booty call
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
