Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
