dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
please don't ironically join a cult
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