see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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