508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize