He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
