I'll bet she douches with gravy.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
