i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
