Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
