That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
