That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
