I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
meet me or not, i'm out of control
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
