i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
pray to the hookup gods
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
