Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
