Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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