Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
