You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
