i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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