actually, I'm a sock model
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
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