i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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