I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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