textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize