Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
